Emotional Intelligence

I have a feeling that comes from within, along with a situation; an external happening.
And, so i label it in my mind.

This is the simple reality; that we have feeling with experience.

And yet, we’ve failed to educate and to understand ourselves with this truth.

Imagine that you walk outside in a t-shirt. It’s 20 degrees and windy.
Your hands begin to feel cold and they soon begin to sting. Same with your cheeks and ears and other exposed parts.

What happens in your mind?
“This is awful!” Right?
We label our experience as good or bad, and our level of comfort has a lot to do with it.

Take now for example that you’ve stepped onto a tennis court for match, or that you’ve sat down at a desk for a pop quiz.
You feel “butterflies” in your stomach.
“I’m nervous”, you tell yourself.
“What if I lose?” “What if I fail?”
Your mind can quickly run away to a place that doesn’t serve you.

The point is, we’ve not been taught the importance of knowing ourselves.
We’re not good at recognizing, and understanding our feelings and emotions.
And, we don’t know how best to deal with them.

Next time you’re in a situation of discomfort, try paying attention to how your mind responds to your feelings.
Pay attention to the negative thinking that your mind so naturally creates.

If you can do this, and you can, try rewriting the script with positive thinking. Come up with another perspective that paints the situation and the other(s) involved in a more positive light.

Your cold hands are a feeling you’re having. It’s not “awful”, and it’s just temporary. If you were to think of the feeling as “amazing” and a gift that you’re having the experience… I’m certain the situation will be more tolerable.

The tennis match or pop quiz?
“This is exciting”.
“These feelings I’m having is my body preparing itself for success”. “I got this”.

What a different reality we can create for ourselves.

Unfortunately, most of us believe the story we tell ourselves.
“That person made me mad”.
“Of course I feel this way”.
“Who wouldn’t”?
“It’s their fault”.
“I have every right now to behave however I will, out of emotion and anger”.

Sound familiar?
Emotional intelligence.
That’s what we’re talking about here, but the thinking, study and understanding, and writing about it is limited.
And certainly, its place within our formal education is lacking and I’d argue there’s nothing more important.

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