So what’s your story? About who you are? About your life, and where you live, and about what you’re doing?
Does your mind go to the past? Do you have a story that you tell yourself? Same story that you tell others about yourself? We probably all modify our story depending on the situation, and depending on who we’re talking to. But, in general… you know your story, right?
Mine is of a past that is filled with a great deal of loss and pain, but also of amazing love and support, and of wonderful experiences. I think too often though my mind is drawn towards thinking of the negative story of my past. And, I wonder if i wouldn’t be better served through an intentional effort to rework my story.
I’ve been thinking lately about a dream i had years ago where i found myself in a room of monks. We were in a golden light and these few monks were enlightened. I found myself there, as i am (unenlightened), and one of them asked me who I am. I felt as I always do, and i found myself completely compelled to tell the story of my past, and of the reasons (from the past) for my current, physical condition. And, as the words were coming out of my mouth, i was understanding through the monk’s presence, that my words were like excuses. He was saying and i was realizing, that’s not who i am, but who i was.
Knowing and understanding this was one thing, but I couldn’t help myself in that moment despite the lesson. It was like I was wired to my past, such that i was unable to connect with the present moment. I woke up after that. Pretty cool dream, huh?